Kultur
What is a dysfunctional family?
There might be a lot of reasons why families break up, but how it affects everyone involved is often where the focus is the least.
Få nyhetsbrev fra Dagsavisen. Meld deg på her!
Dette er et debattinnlegg som gir uttrykk for skribentens holdninger og meninger. Du kan sende inn debattinnlegg til debatt@dagsavisen.no.
I have often wondered what the most important ingredients in an ideal family are, but obviously when we fail to locate them, we are presented with a family that's nothing more than a family we often can refer to as a dysfunctional family.
So what is a dysfunctional family?
In my view, after seeing tremendous amount of homes showing the beauty of respect among family members to seeing families where respect is often a word unknown to them, I can say that things carry a different meaning depending on who you are asking.
A dysfunctional family is not a group of people where everyone is out of the ordinary, it can be a family where children have no respect for their parents, it can be parents where they show no sign of showing value to their childre, and it can be both who treat each other as if they don't care for the other person's happiness.
Do parents have a hand in ruining a family?
Yes, ofcourse they do. Parents who have no respect for one another, for their relation and others connected to them, most probably have a very big hand in the formation of the way children think. Not only do they create a totally negative atmosphere but they also feed in dysfunctional thoughts into everyone they come across.
In some cases one can probably locate other reasons, such as family members who might have nothing better to do then to disturb the peace of mind of people.
What can be done to save families from this self-destructive behaviour?
I have often thought about the fact that people who have kids without wanting to have them usually end up ruining their life as well. For the first they are probably not ready to be a parent, for the second they probably don't have the wish to be one and when there is no wish one often doesn't like to find a way either.
My thought goes into some kind of regulation, although it might be a eutopian thought, but how would it be if anyone who was expecting or was thinking of having a baby went through some kind of a theory test and answered some questions, plus did some course as to how they will be taking care of their child, what type of mindset they have.
The result we can get out of such a programme can help us indicate as to how mature the parents to be really are, and what kind of parents the innocent child will be guarded by. I don't know how others feel about this but for me it's important to realize one thing, and that point is clear and precise. A child should be the most important thing in the parents life, both parents should give the child the time it deserves, if they can't do it they shouldn't be parents.
We often hear people talk about abortion and people who are against it, I am against it too and don't advocate it either. But those people who are giving birth to children without wanting them are doing far worse than abortion, they are killing the whole future and life of a child by not giving them what the child deserves, time and love.