Kultur

RyanWord: English version

Dear customer, welcome and thank you for choosing Europe’s leading low cost commentary.

Dette er et debattinnlegg som gir uttrykk for skribentens holdninger og meninger. Du kan sende inn debattinnlegg til debatt@dagsavisen.no.

Only NOK 0, 99 will grant you unlimited access to the whole length of the article which is 2408 characters. That is our guaranteed lowest price of only NOK 0,0004 per character. Please sit back and enjoy this article, but first please accept the terms and conditions. Please note that continued reading implies that you have accepted our terms and conditions and that they are legally binding.

We have registered that you have opted for the premium edition of this article which includes space between the words. By choosing this option we cannot guarantee that you will finish reading according to the scheduled timeslot. The premium option comes with a space-fee of only NOK 11,99. Please note that this article comes with a headline fee. Our lowest headline fee is only NOK 9,99 but since this is a premium edition the headline fee is 19,99. Our guaranteed low price version comes without capital letters; you have opted for the fast reading edition with capital letters which comes with a capital-fee of only NOK 4,99.

If you have fast-tracked to this article without delay or stopping for other articles you are liable for the VIR fee (very important reader) of only NOK 59,99. Please note that this is a no-frill article so if you would like to enjoy it with a cup of coffee or tea there will be an additional fee of only NOK 22,99 ( 28,99 if you opt for the premium deal-sweetener with sugar.) If you would like to enjoy this article with at cold meal, you may do so with our cold-fee of only NOK 56,99, if you opt for a hot meal of our hot-fee of NOK 99,99 will be added to your credit-card.

You have purchased this article without a seating option, please choose your preferred seating option: Only NOK 49,99 for our regular kitchen-chair and you may upgrade to our premium option which is your own comfy armchair at only 66,99. If you choose to read the whole article standing the chair fee will of course not apply as long as you are only wearing socks or other items of clothing that do not cause un-necessary wear and tear on the floor. If you choose to wear shoes a small sole-fee of only 27,99 will apply. This is regardless whether you choose to stand or sit on the floor.

With our guaranteed lowest price this article can be enjoyed throughout your entire lunch-break between 11.00 and 11.30 or at breakfast before 8.00. If you chose to read outside our low-price slots there will be a reader congestion-charge of an additional 30% of your total fee. Please note that our low-price reading fee does not include taxes on NOK 45,99 and the standard page-turner-fee of NOK 82,99. If you read it on paper there will be an additional printfee of 46,99, if you choose to read it online there will be an additional screenfee of 49,99. We hope you have enjoyed this low price reading-session and we look forward to welcoming you back to Europe’s leading low-price commentary.

Original version in Norwegian. Translated by Finn Erling Røgenæs.

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